(From August 2014)
It was cool this morning, threatening to rain as it has been for the past few days. As I sat in a local breakfast joint dousing my breakfast in hot sauce, I became aware suddenly of how I was feeling. I felt good. But not that – high energy want to take on the world – kind of good. It was more like contentedness or peace. It was gratitude as I began to recognize that I have been blessed.
I chose my first bite carefully, deliberately getting the perfect ratio of eggs, hash browns, peppers and onions, cheddar, andouille gravy, hot sauce and scrapple. Oh that first bite. Glorious. What a sensation. My taste buds were aroused sending out pulsations of pleasure, sharing the experience with the rest of my body. I realized that receiving is powerful if used a medium to give.
I continued to eat becoming more grateful with each bite. I began to think of many things: How great my neck felt thanks to the adjustment I received from my Chiropractor earlier that morning. The wonderful night I just had thanks to good friends and the commitment of total strangers to the making of beautiful art. The weekends prior I got to spend with family. How blessed am I?
I also recognized that somewhere out there is a version of my younger self. He’s upset but has forgotten how to cry. He’s angry; his step father came home drunk last night. He stares out of his broken bedroom window fantasizing about running away and killing the man who planted the seed of fear in his chest. He stares at the empty beer cans on the floor, that he drank with his best friend the previous weekend, and remembers that those cans contained the substance that took his fathers life. He’s hungry but can only think of the food that isn’t in the kitchen. He feels trapped.
He puts on angry music trying to escape. He doesn’t know yet that things are going to get better.
I know things are weird in the world right now and just hope this small story can help remind people that things do get better. Metaphorically speaking, what better than a rainy day as a reminder of this? The rain washes away debris from the surface giving the blank slate needed to start fresh. If we want the rain to wash away our problems or troubles, we need to bring them to surface.
If you’re a young person struggling at the moment just hang on, reflect, be patient, and be hopeful because when you’re an old thirty one years like me, you won’t have it all figured out by any stretch of the imagination, but you just might be one happy S.O.B
Thanks for reading.